STRESS & MEDITATION

As we enter the holiday season, stress can get the best of all of us - I am sharing a link (below) to an article on mindfulness and a great website, Calm.com  for 2, 5, and 10 minute meditations. It is powerful. I challenge you to try it for yourself and suggest your kids try it at the end of the night as a way to de-stress and unwind for bed! 

For the Calm.com link, click here

Mindfulness Meditation Benefits: 20 Reasons Why It's Good For Your Mental And Physical Health

Here are 10    
 (to read the full article click here )

·       It lowers stress -- literally.

·       It can make your grades better

·       It changes the brain in a protective way.

·       It works as the brain's "volume knob."

·       It makes music sound better

·       It has four elements that help us in different ways.

·       It could help the elderly feel less lonely.

·       It comes in handy during cold season.

·       It also lowers depression risk among teens.

·       It supports your weight-loss goals.

·       It helps you sleep better.

MATURITY, EMOTIONS, and the TEENAGE BRAIN

Understanding the teen aged brain is crucial - it' s not an excuse for behavior, but if we can begin to understand the process we will be much more effective life teachers!


"As teens grow and develop, it can be tempting to assume that they can think and behave just like adults. A little bit of time with a teen, however, can starkly demonstrate just how differently they think and act, and it is all due to brain development.

The Teenaged Brain
A brain is like a complicated entertainment system that includes the cable box, television, blu-ray player, and surround sound that are all connected through wires. For adults, the parts of the brain work together using a similar system of wires called synapses.
The teenaged brain, however, has all of the parts, just not all of the wires are hooked up. There may be too many input and output jacks in some places and not enough in others. Plus, teens have the distinct disadvantage of experiencing brain development from the back of the brain to the front.
The very back of the brain that is connected to the spine controls our involuntary functions. Moving up from there, we encounter the hormonal and emotional centers of the brain. Last to develop is the frontal lobe, which controls rational thought, judgment, and self-control.
Teen develop mirrors the development of a baby during his or her first year, soaking up everything the world has to offer. Like young children, teens need guidance, understanding, and patience from adults so that they can learn how to safely navigate the world.

Read the full article - click here

CREATING CHANGE

Fun interview with Doug Foresta on how to create change.  We discuss the connection between feelings and emotions and how to get past feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Learn practical tips to help you overcome stress, and gain focus and clarity in any situation.

To listen to the interview: Click Here

EMOTIONS...NOUN or ADJECTIVE?

I had a suggestion from a pod cast fan to post some of the episode transcriptions - so here is the very first one Emotions...Are They Nouns or Adjectives?


To listen to the audio -click here

Are you feeling overwhelmed by your emotions? Do you feel stuck or tripped up? Do you just wish there was better way? On each episode of this podcast I will offer specific tips and tools to help you get off the emotional roller coaster and gain more stability over your self and your relationships.
I want to start by telling you that your feelings do not define you. Often we over identify with our feelings and feel as if we ARE what we feel. Emotions are adjectives, not nouns. They describe an emotional state and they WILL pass, they are not who we are.

You know how with little kids we have been told to not call Johnny a bad boy for hitting his brother? - we have been coached to say “Johnny, that was a bad thing to do, we don’t’ hit people when we are angry”. The thought is that if Johnny hears he is bad, he will begin to believe that he is a bad person and will start to define himself as bad which often leads to more unwanted behavior and a nose diving self esteem –and now a negative behavior pattern is born.

I recently had a conversation with a young woman, I’ll call her Emily, who kept referring to herself as an idiot and stupid because she left her iphone on the check out counter at the grocery store. As she continued to focus on this mistake she was getting more and more frustrated with herself and began to recall other situations where she had been forgetful or not careful enough with her things. She concluded that she really is an idiot and so stupid that she didn’t deserve to have nice things.
Emily is letting these feelings of disappointment; embarrassment and frustration define who she is. She did a forgetful thing – that does not make her a bad person and certainly not an idiot. As we talked some more I helped her to remember that she never lost her phone before, that she actually keeps her belongings in good shape, that generally people like her and she is a nice, helpful, funny person who people like to be around.

Its time to give yourself a break – This week, see if you can catch yourself defining yourself with an emotion (positive or negative). If you hear yourself saying ‘I am angry’ or I am lonely or I am cranky…insert the word feeling into the statement
I am feeling angry, I am feeling lonely, I am feeling cranky. This will remind you that this ‘state’ is temporary and it will pass.
This is the beginning of emotional literacy
And the first steps to stabilizing our emotional roller coaster.

EXECUTIVE FUNCTION

Executive Function - This is the area of the adolescent brain that is under reconstruction between the ages of 12 and 22. It affects decision process and how we interpret and process information. Here is a video had created for a recent workshop.

DRAMA FREE PARENTING?!?

Here are some great suggestions from Dr. Marcum

Parents often ask me how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughter. It’s a shock when your previously sweet little girl starts throwing tantrums again. Twelve year old girls can be moody, over dramatic, self-centered, focused almost solely on friends, close-mouthed, surly, back-talking and condescending to parents.  They can, of course, also be mature, affectionate and delightful, but at their worst they’re a cross between the most challenging aspects of toddlers and teens.

Click here for full article 

PARENT UNIVERSITY

I will be presenting a workshop at Parent University on Saturday, November 15th. Come join the discussion and discover helpful tools to improve relationships. This is an open event, all you need to do is register!

For more information, here is the link

http://youthagency.org/parent-university/

PROTECT vs PERMIT

Finding the balance.  We need to allow our children to begin to figure things out for themselves so that they grow their self reliance and build their self esteem. As parents, we should strive to be warm, firm and supportive to give our kids the most benefit. 



 Great article by Jessica Lahey  in the New York Times

 Raising Teenagers: Protect When You Must, Permit When You Can

Read the article   Click Here

RAISING KIND CHILDREN

We want to raise kind children. We want them to be a good friend and have good friends. Our children learn so much from our interactions with others (see previous post about Accidental Teaching). This article speaks specifically about girls, but the message applies to boys as as well. 

 
To Read the full article    Click Here

DARK SIDE OF ANONYMOUS APPS

I was recently interviewed for this article in Ad Week.  Interesting discussion on the connection between cyber bullying and anonymous apps

Critics maintain that anonymity is a double-edged sword. While it lets the public frankly discuss issues they might not otherwise in an open forum, cloaking one’s identity leads some to believe they can tease and troll others at will.     
For the full article written by David Gianatasio

Click Here

THINK YOU'RE RAISING KIDS RIGHT?

Continuing the conversation about teaching the importance of empathy and true caring. Amy Joyce does it again..
 

Only 20 percent of kids interviewed say caring for others is their top priority. Greater than 50 percent of girls ages 7 to 12 reported at least one incident of sexual harassment in 2010-2011. And 96 percent of parents say moral character is “very important” yet 81 percent of children say happiness or achievement is their parents’ top priority.

Read the full article  Click Here

Excited to Share

I am pleased to launch the Tool Box video.  It will give you an introduction  to the tools and approaches discussed in the

Book (available at click here)
Web Based Parent Coaching Program (for more info, click here)
Workshops ( for more info, click here)


To view the video   click here

THE BOILING POINT

Helping your teen avoid a melt down. There are specific skills that we can teach and share with our kids that give them a better chance of managing their emotional ups and downs!

Being a teenager can feel like living inside a pressure cooker. The combined challenges of excelling in school, participating in extracurricular activities, putting in community service hours, working a part-time job (for some), negotiating relationships and managing hormonal changes could all be ingredients for disaster.

for full article click here

HOW LONG TO NAP FOR THE BIGGIEST BENEFIT

Back in the saddle- workshops were great with wonderful feedback! 

Here is an article that is pertinent for all - sleep (and napping) are important and it is good to understand how to get the most benefit.  

Taking a nap, we’ve seen time and again, is like rebooting your brain.  Everyone likes to get a quick nap in every now and then, but napping may be as much of an art as it is a science. The Wall Street Journal offers recommendations for planning your perfect nap, including how long to nap and when.
The sleep experts in the article say a 10-to-20-minute power nap gives you the best “bang for your buck,” but depending on what you want the nap to do for you, other durations might be ideal.  For a quick boost of alertness, experts say a 10-to-20-minute power nap is adequate for getting back to work in a pinch. 

For the full article click here (and take 2 minutes to watch the embedded video)

 

How Long To Nap For The Biggest Brain Benefits

Taking a nap, we’ve seen time and again, is like rebooting your brain.  Everyone likes to get a quick nap in every now and then, but napping may be as much of an art as it is a science. The Wall Street Journal offers recommendations for planning your perfect nap, including how long to nap and when.
The sleep experts in the article say a 10-to-20-minute power nap gives you the best “bang for your buck,” but depending on what you want the nap to do for you, other durations might be ideal.  For a quick boost of alertness, experts say a 10-to-20-minute power nap is adequate for getting back to work in a pinch.

- See more at: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/how-long-to-nap-for-the-biggest-brain-benefits/#sthash.uCFRppG7.dpuf

How Long To Nap For The Biggest Brain Benefits

Taking a nap, we’ve seen time and again, is like rebooting your brain.  Everyone likes to get a quick nap in every now and then, but napping may be as much of an art as it is a science. The Wall Street Journal offers recommendations for planning your perfect nap, including how long to nap and when.
The sleep experts in the article say a 10-to-20-minute power nap gives you the best “bang for your buck,” but depending on what you want the nap to do for you, other durations might be ideal.  For a quick boost of alertness, experts say a 10-to-20-minute power nap is adequate for getting back to work in a pinch.

- See more at: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/how-long-to-nap-for-the-biggest-brain-benefits/#sthash.uCFRppG7.dpuf

Taking a nap, we’ve seen time and again, is like rebooting your brain.  Everyone likes to get a quick nap in every now and then, but napping may be as much of an art as it is a science. The Wall Street Journal offers recommendations for planning your perfect nap, including how long to nap and when. - See more at: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/how-long-to-nap-for-the-biggest-brain-benefits/#sthash.uCFRppG7.dpuf

Taking a nap, we’ve seen time and again, is like rebooting your brain.  Everyone likes to get a quick nap in every now and then, but napping may be as much of an art as it is a science. The Wall Street Journal offers recommendations for planning your perfect nap, including how long to nap and when. - See more at: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/how-long-to-nap-for-the-biggest-brain-benefits/#sthash.uCFRppG7.dpuf

Taking a nap, we’ve seen time and again, is like rebooting your brain.  Everyone likes to get a quick nap in every now and then, but napping may be as much of an art as it is a science. The Wall Street Journal offers recommendations for planning your perfect nap, including how long to nap and when. - See more at: http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/how-long-to-nap-for-the-biggest-brain-benefits/#sthash.uCFRppG7.dpuf

QUIT KVETCHING!!

Quit Kvetching and Conversations that Count

We all need a good venting session every once in awhile, but ongoing negativity is difficult to handle. Annie Fox addresses the issue with clarity and good suggestions.



Do you know the Yiddish word to Kvetch?  On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up.



To read the entire article click here

On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Do you know the Yiddish verb, to kvetch? On the surface it simply means: to complain. As in, “Just get your homework done and stop kvetching already.” But actually, kvetching goes beyond complaining into the realm of eternal dissatisfaction where nothing is ever good enough and it becomes one’s mission in life to let everyone know exactly where and why things don’t measure up. - See more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/01/23/quit-kvetching-tips-for-getting-teens-to-stop-complaining/#sthash.CiEkuICq.dpuf

Teaching & Supporting the Older Teen

 Our roles as teacher and supporter do not stop, they shift and change based on environment, influences, timing and needs.  What was helpful when our kid was 13 is very different then when he is 17.  We need to continually hone our parenting tools as we navigate their voyage from childhood to adulthood.

6 Ways for Your Older Teen to Start Great Habits- It’s Never Too Late!

Is your 17, 18, or 19 year-old lacking necessary life skills?  It’s not too late.  It’s true, by the time your kid reaches late adolescence she should have all of the base skills necessary to function in the adult world.  These skills may be rough but they should be there.

At 16, a youth can legally operate a motor vehicle and hold a part-time job in most states.  At 17 a youth can serve as an active duty service member in the United States Armed Forces.  At 18, although he’s still your kid, he’s a legal adult for all intents and purposes.  In no other time in life is there such rapid growth coupled with ever-increasing responsibility than in adolescence.  A high rate of change is happening to them and around them.  No matter how old, adolescents need your guidance navigating the weight of  adulthood well into their early twenties.

To read more click 


New Habits

Understanding Mood Swings!

Understanding does not mean that we accept moody behavior, but it may give us a clearer path to follow if we comprehend what is going on for our teen.  If we want to have more effective 'teaching moments' we need to know what is the base of the issue- every bad mood is not created by the same cause. Use some of the Clarifying Questions in Chapter 3 of The Tool Box to help figure out how to slow down the roller coaster ride!


Here is an interesting article:    Mood Swings