ANTI-FRAGILE

Becoming Anti-Fragile.....

 

"How is it that some people come back from crushing defeats while others simply give in? Why does adversity make some people and teams stronger and render others ineffective?"

 

Shane Parrish, Farnam Street

 

 

 

Read the full article   Click Here

RESILIENCE~GRIT~EMPATHY

Starting a mini-series on resilience, grit and empathy. It is so important to help kids acquire these life skills as they are the basic building blocks for success in relationships with others as well as our selves! 

The Science of Resilience

Why some children can thrive despite adversity~ Bari Walsh

"When confronted with the fallout of childhood trauma, why do some children adapt and overcome, while others bear lifelong scars that flatten their potential? A growing body of evidence points to one common answer: Every child who winds up doing well has had at least one stable and committed rela­tionship with a supportive adult."

Read the full article    Click Here 

MISTAKES

 How we learn from mistakes makes a huge difference in our learning curve!









by Eduardo Briceño

"We can deepen our own and our students’ understanding of mistakes, which are not all created equal, and are not always desirable. After all, our ability to manage and learn from mistakes is not fixed. We can improve it.
Here are two quotes about mistakes that I like and use, but that can also lead to confusion if we don’t further clarify what we mean:
“A life spent making mistakes is not only most honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing” – George Bernard Shaw
“It is well to cultivate a friendly feeling towards error, to treat it as a companion inseparable from our lives, as something having a purpose which it truly has.” – Maria Montessori"

 To read on   Click Here

I DONT CARE!

During this time of college early decision notifications I share with you this insightful article!

 

 

"I'm going to say something a bit unheard of in modern times. My thoughts are anathema for most parents. But I'm done pretending.
Here goes ...
I don't care where my children go to college. I'm not saying I don't care in the but-deep-down-I'm-hoping-they-get-a-full-ride-to-Harvard way. And I'm not saying that I don't care because my kids are complete failures destined for a life of living in my basement watching Family Guy re-runs. Nope, it isn't any of that."  Catherine Pearlman       

Read on   Click Here
 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/catherine-pearlman/i-dont-care-where-my-chil_b_8774666.html

STRESS & MEDITATION

As we enter the holiday season, stress can get the best of all of us - I am sharing a link (below) to an article on mindfulness and a great website, Calm.com  for 2, 5, and 10 minute meditations. It is powerful. I challenge you to try it for yourself and suggest your kids try it at the end of the night as a way to de-stress and unwind for bed! 

For the Calm.com link, click here

Mindfulness Meditation Benefits: 20 Reasons Why It's Good For Your Mental And Physical Health

Here are 10    
 (to read the full article click here )

·       It lowers stress -- literally.

·       It can make your grades better

·       It changes the brain in a protective way.

·       It works as the brain's "volume knob."

·       It makes music sound better

·       It has four elements that help us in different ways.

·       It could help the elderly feel less lonely.

·       It comes in handy during cold season.

·       It also lowers depression risk among teens.

·       It supports your weight-loss goals.

·       It helps you sleep better.

TAMING ANXIETY

 

My podcast Master Your Feelings Master Your Life is nearing 50,000 downloads! One of the most recent popular episodes is
"Taming Anxiety" (#23). 

 I discuss defining anxiety and the path to work through it. It's only 4 minutes long...give it a listen. I'd love to hear your feed back.

Click Here to Listen

WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING!?

"What where you thinking!?"
Continuing the dialog on the teen brain


"When adolescence hit Frances Jensen's sons, she often found herself wondering, like all parents of teenagers, "What were you thinking?"

"It's a resounding mantra of parents and teachers," says Jensen, who's a pediatric neurologist at Children's Hospital in Boston.

Like when son number one, Andrew, turned 16, dyed his hair black with red stripes and went off to school wearing studded leather and platform shoes. And his grades went south.
"I watched my child morph into another being, and yet I knew deep down inside it was the same Andrew," Jensen says. Suddenly her own children seemed like an alien species."


 For the full article    Click here

MATURITY, EMOTIONS, and the TEENAGE BRAIN

Understanding the teen aged brain is crucial - it' s not an excuse for behavior, but if we can begin to understand the process we will be much more effective life teachers!


"As teens grow and develop, it can be tempting to assume that they can think and behave just like adults. A little bit of time with a teen, however, can starkly demonstrate just how differently they think and act, and it is all due to brain development.

The Teenaged Brain
A brain is like a complicated entertainment system that includes the cable box, television, blu-ray player, and surround sound that are all connected through wires. For adults, the parts of the brain work together using a similar system of wires called synapses.
The teenaged brain, however, has all of the parts, just not all of the wires are hooked up. There may be too many input and output jacks in some places and not enough in others. Plus, teens have the distinct disadvantage of experiencing brain development from the back of the brain to the front.
The very back of the brain that is connected to the spine controls our involuntary functions. Moving up from there, we encounter the hormonal and emotional centers of the brain. Last to develop is the frontal lobe, which controls rational thought, judgment, and self-control.
Teen develop mirrors the development of a baby during his or her first year, soaking up everything the world has to offer. Like young children, teens need guidance, understanding, and patience from adults so that they can learn how to safely navigate the world.

Read the full article - click here

ACCIDENTAL TEACHING: Be The Change!

This is a departure from my regular style of posts. Last year I shared an article on "Accidental Teaching" that discussed how powerful it is to teach by example.


This week I saw a post about Kate Winslett rejecting photo-shopping and a video about standing up for what is right. We all need to be the change we want to see and every choice we make matters. All three links are below




Kate Winslet    Click Here






                Joy Angela DeGruy video  Click Here









Cindy Terebush, Accidental Teaching
 Click Here

10 THINGS NOT TO SAY

When we 'clean up' our language with our kids, the communication grows exponentially!

1. No (running, hitting, yelling, fill in the verb)!

2. Good job!
3. Don’t argue with me.
4. Wait until your Dad/Mom/other person finds out about this.
5. If you do that one more time…
6. You are doing that the wrong way.
7.That is what happens when you…
8. You can’t/Don’t do that.. 

9. We are (whatever the child doesn’t want to do at that moment)

10. OKAY?You are making me really mad right now. 

Find out why    Click Here

HUMOR

Couldn't resist a touch of humor as we travel through the college launch!

SCHOOL CONTRACT

We started out the summer with an idea for a contract - here is a version for the school year. It is so important to discuss and agree on expectations ahead of time!

Click Here

6 THINGS

6 THINGS WE NEED TO STOP SAYING TO GIRLS – REVISED

August 5, 2015 by Theresa Seid

I wrote this for ooph a little over a year ago.  Now having two girls and with Ellie getting older this list is becoming more important in our house.  I have added one more to this list. I never really put much thought into number six until someone said it to my son.  

Read the full article here       Click Here

CREATING CHANGE

Fun interview with Doug Foresta on how to create change.  We discuss the connection between feelings and emotions and how to get past feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Learn practical tips to help you overcome stress, and gain focus and clarity in any situation.

To listen to the interview: Click Here

AWESOME RESOURCE!

I want share a wonderful resource website Understood.org

While the primary focus is learning and attention issues, there are great strategies for social skills as well.

Their mission is to " help the millions of parents whose children, ages 3–20, are struggling with learning and attention issues. We want to empower them to understand their children’s issues and relate to their experiences. With this knowledge, parents can make effective choices that propel their children from simply coping to truly thriving". 

Head to the website and browse around.  You can create a profile for your child(ren) and check out the huge span of resources.

BUILD or BREAK?

The words we use to communicate an idea or share a suggestion are crucial.  Rachel Stafford offers some great examples.

The thought of my child growing up with a parent whose love was based on what she did rather than who she was caused an immediate change in me. I stopped being her rigid taskmaster, and, instead, became her loving encourager... Rachel Stafford



For the full article
Click Here

SUMMER CONTRACT

Summer vacation is upon us!  Having a 'contract' with your Teens and Tweens is a great idea so that expectations are clear. 

"Summer will be here before you know it and the one thing we have learned over the years is that a summer contract is a game changer. Kids need to know what is expected of them. Rules need to be signed off on so that you don’t have to argue all summer. Put this summer contract in place and if arguments arise refer to it. Make sure you offer tons of positive reinforcement when they are getting it right!!"



For an example
Click Here

CREATE CONFIDENCE

More on the significance of self resiliency, confidence and self esteem!


 Read the article:
Click Here

CHORES!

Chores are an important part of creating self resiliency which leads to self confidence and that builds self esteem! Even though they may complain, kids like being helpful, productive and connected.

Jennifer Breheny Wallace writes:

 

Today’s demands for measurable childhood success—from the Common Core to college placement—have chased household chores from the to-do lists of many young people. In a survey of 1,001 U.S. adults released last fall by Braun Research, 82% reported having regular chores growing up, but only 28% said that they require their own children to do them. With students under pressure to learn Mandarin, run the chess club or get a varsity letter, chores have fallen victim to the imperatives of resume-building—though it is hardly clear that such activities are a better use of their time.
For the full article
Click Here

SELF ESTEEM

This is an important day to day concept for our kids as well.  Reliance builds self confidence and this creates self esteem.

“Resilience depends on supportive, responsive relationships and mastering a set of capabilities that can help us respond and adapt to adversity in healthy ways,” says Shonkoff, director of the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard. “It’s those capacities and relationships that can turn toxic stress into tolerable stress.”




 For full read  Click Here