"How is it that some people come back from crushing defeats while others
simply give in? Why does adversity make some people and teams stronger
and render others ineffective?"
Understanding the teen aged brain is crucial - it' s not an excuse for
behavior, but if we can begin to understand the process we will be much
more effective life teachers!
"As teens grow and develop, it can be tempting to assume that they can
think and behave just like adults. A little bit of time with a teen,
however, can starkly demonstrate just how differently they think and
act, and it is all due to brain development.
The Teenaged Brain A brain is like a complicated entertainment system that includes the
cable box, television, blu-ray player, and surround sound that are all
connected through wires. For adults, the parts of the brain work
together using a similar system of wires called synapses. The teenaged brain, however, has all of the parts, just not all of
the wires are hooked up. There may be too many input and output jacks in
some places and not enough in others. Plus, teens have the distinct
disadvantage of experiencing brain development from the back of the brain to the front. The very back of the brain that is connected to the spine controls
our involuntary functions. Moving up from there, we encounter the
hormonal and emotional centers of the brain. Last to develop is the
frontal lobe, which controls rational thought, judgment, and
self-control. Teen develop mirrors the development of a baby during his or her
first year, soaking up everything the world has to offer. Like young
children, teens need guidance, understanding, and patience from adults so that they can learn how to safely navigate the world.
Cell phones are becoming 'a given', but 'when' and 'how' are still a parent's decision.
"The question is not if, BUT WHEN your child is going to be ready for her very own phone? It’s inevitable. As we’ve talked about before, smart parents can no longer afford to keep their heads in the sand when it comes to technology and their children.
I have a 13 year old and she has not had a phone…until now."
To read the rest of Michelle Myers article, click here
Teaching financial literacy is the beginning of financial responsibility. Finding age appropriate ways to talk about money with our kids is important. This is a helpful place to begin!
"Families can use Money as You Grow to start a dialogue
about money and teach kids important lessons about saving, making choices, and avoiding debt. Put up a
Money as You Grow poster on your refrigerator, try the activities in your everyday life, and check
to see if your children know the milestones for their age groups." Click Here
We started out the summer with an idea for a contract - here is a version for the school year. It is so important to discuss and agree on expectations ahead of time! Click Here
I want share a wonderful resource website Understood.org
While the primary focus is learning and attention issues, there are great strategies for social skills as well.
Their mission is to " help the millions of parents whose children, ages 3–20, are struggling with learning and attention issues. We want to empower them to understand their children’s issues and relate to their experiences. With this knowledge, parents can make effective choices that propel their children from simply coping to truly thriving".
Head to the website and browse around. You can create a profile for your child(ren) and check out the huge span of resources.
This is an important day to day concept for our kids as well. Reliance builds self confidence and this creates self esteem.
“Resilience depends on supportive, responsive relationships and
mastering a set of capabilities that can help us respond and adapt to
adversity in healthy ways,” says Shonkoff, director of the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard. “It’s those capacities and relationships that can turn toxic stress into tolerable stress.”
Chris Hudson continues the discussion with this insightful article
How should you respond if your teenager’s behvaiour means you are unable
to trust them anymore? This is a problem faced by most parents of
teenagers at some point during their child’s adolescence.... Ironically a common cause of parents acting in ways that could undermine
their teenager’s trust is parents feeling they cannot trust their teen.
When a parent suspects their teen is lying, or sneaking around, their
response is to start sneaking and spying on their teenager. Mistrust
breeds mistrust.
Often I have parents who are frustrated that they can't seem to get their kids to talk with them. Kids often feel like the dinner table is The Grand Inquisition... Here is a great article and super suggestions for breaking the ice.
How do I get my kids to talk to me?
Listening and talking are learned behaviors. How your children will
communicate with others and you is something they are learning from you. Are you talking with and listening to them every day? About things
that don’t matter, not just peppering them with questions? Is your
homework done? Is your room clean? Did you do what I asked you to do?
Many families with high school juniors are launching into the college process this spring. While it is an exciting time it can also be a very stressful process. Here is a great article to help pave the way.
"In the "good old days" of college admissions, parents would
show up at my door during the summer before their child's senior year
and ask for help with choosing colleges and getting in. Except in rare
cases, it was assumed that it didn't really matter what a student
majored in; somehow, someday everything would just work out. There were
plenty of jobs for college graduates, regardless of their majors in
college."Even Middle School Parents Want Advice about College AdmissionsWhat Employers Say They Want from College GradsAPPLYING TO THINKING-ORIENTED COLLEGESFor the full article click here
There
is so much written about how to talk with your kids about sex and drugs
- but so little about money. Like sex, each family has their own
guidelines and expectations, what ever they are, create the time to
teach them to your children.
Executive
Function - This is the area of the adolescent brain that is under
reconstruction between the ages of 12 and 22. It affects decision
process and how we interpret and process information. Here is a video
had created for a recent workshop.
In December I launch a pod cast series Master Your Feelings Master Your Life on iTunes to help folks get off of the emotional roller coaster. It quickly rose to the top of iTunes New & Noteworthy categories: Health, Self Help and Kids & Family.
Registering more than 7,000 downloads in under six weeks.
Have a listen, I'd love to hear feedback, and if your are so inclined, ratings and reviews are encouraged!
Sharing a great Mother - Daughter book on how to keep a strong bond during the teen years.
"What if teenage daughters could see their mothers as a great ally as
they grew up and became independent? What if mothers could create safety
for a teen daughter's experience of herself, consciously guiding her to
be who she was born to be? Sil and Eliza Reynolds are leading a
revolution, smashing conventional wisdom on mothers and teenage
daughters. With Mothering and Daughtering, they offer two breakthrough guides in one."
Helping our kids to understand the value of education - truly
Kids cheat in school because they think grades
are more important than what they learn. They take short-cuts because they
believe the longer, harder path has no value or because they are afraid of
stumbling or of being seen as someone who stumbles. Michael Mulligan
Jennifer Wagner wrote a great article an specific strategies for connecting with teens; especially helpful as we launch into the holiday season. Here are some great suggestions for finding time to connect with your kids
At least in my home,
having long conversations with my teens never began with “How was your day?” or
“What happened in school today?” Those questions were actually
conversation stoppers, not starters. However, I found that if was well versed
in things they liked, such as their favorites in pop culture and technology, I
could talk to them about those things for hours. Once you open the door to
conversation, you never know what else might come out. Here are some examples
of how to connect with your teens through pop culture and technology
At
least in my home, having long conversations with my teens never began
with “How was your day?” or “What happened in school today?” Those
questions were actually conversation stoppers, not starters. However, I
found that if was well versed in things they liked, such as their
favorites in pop culture and technology, I could talk to them about
those things for hours. Once you open the door to conversation, you
never know what else might come out. Here are some examples of how to
connect with your teens through pop culture and technology: - See more
at:
http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2010/11/5-ways-to-connect-with-your-teens-2/#sthash.WCoRnPda.dpuf
At
least in my home, having long conversations with my teens never began
with “How was your day?” or “What happened in school today?” Those
questions were actually conversation stoppers, not starters. However, I
found that if was well versed in things they liked, such as their
favorites in pop culture and technology, I could talk to them about
those things for hours. Once you open the door to conversation, you
never know what else might come out. Here are some examples of how to
connect with your teens through pop culture and technology: - See more
at:
http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2010/11/5-ways-to-connect-with-your-teens-2/#sthash.WCoRnPda.dpuf
Teaching our girls (and boys) to be better negotiators puts them on a path for more personal and professional successes in life. We need to help our kids understand that to ask for what they want, they will need to know what they want! These are skills they can learn.
The recent research about women and negotiation isn’t pretty. Often, women don’t negotiate for what they deserve. But they also face obstacles like a widespread pay gap and even backlash when they do negotiate. But what if we raised girls to help them both master negotiation
skills and navigate the challenges? Would that help us raise a
generation of women who are more likely to succeed by the time they need
to ask for what they’re worth?
"How is it that some people come back from crushing defeats while others
simply give in? Why does adversity make some people and teams stronger
and render others ineffective?"
We started out the summer with an idea for a contract - here is a version for the school year. It is so important to discuss and agree on expectations ahead of time!
More on the significance of self resiliency, confidence and self esteem! 
"In the "good old days" of college admissions, parents would
show up at my door during the summer before their child's senior year
and ask for help with choosing colleges and getting in. Except in rare
cases, it was assumed that it didn't really matter what a student
majored in; somehow, someday everything would just work out. There were
plenty of jobs for college graduates, regardless of their majors in
college."
There
is so much written about how to talk with your kids about sex and drugs
- but so little about money. Like sex, each family has their own
guidelines and expectations, what ever they are, create the time to
teach them to your children.
"What if teenage daughters could see their mothers as a great ally as
they grew up and became independent? What if mothers could create safety
for a teen daughter's experience of herself, consciously guiding her to
be who she was born to be? Sil and Eliza Reynolds are leading a
revolution, smashing conventional wisdom on mothers and teenage
daughters. With Mothering and Daughtering, they offer two breakthrough guides in one."
The recent research about women and negotiation isn’t pretty. Often, women don’t negotiate for what they deserve. But they also face obstacles like a widespread pay gap and even backlash when they do negotiate. But what if we raised girls to help them both master negotiation
skills and navigate the challenges? Would that help us raise a
generation of women who are more likely to succeed by the time they need
to ask for what they’re worth?
The recent research about women and negotiation isn’t pretty. Often, women don’t negotiate for what they deserve. But they also face obstacles like a widespread pay gap and even backlash when they do negotiate. But what if we raised girls to help them both master negotiation
skills and navigate the challenges? Would that help us raise a
generation of women who are more likely to succeed by the time they need
to ask for what they’re worth?