TEENS & CONSEQUENCES

An intelligent and helpful approach from Megan Devine

If you’re having trouble giving effective consequences to your teen, know that you are not alone. Many parents tell me that nothing seems to work, and that coming up with the right thing for their child can seem like an impossible task. If you’re the parent of an adolescent, you may have grounded your child, taken away their video games, or suspended their driving privileges for months on end. But as James Lehman says, you can’t punish kids into acceptable behavior—it just doesn’t work that way.

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GPS

It may feel like a challenging journey, but with the right tools it is a lot easier!

CONSEQUENCES

Effective consequences for teenagers!  

If you’re having trouble giving effective consequences to your teen, know that you are not alone. Many parents tell me that nothing seems to work, and that coming up with the right thing for their child can seem like an impossible task. If you’re the parent of an adolescent, you may have grounded your child, taken away their video games, or suspended their driving privileges for months on end. But as James Lehman says, you can’t punish kids into acceptable behavior—it just doesn’t work that way.

Effective consequences are ones that are connected to the original behavior, and are both task- and time-specific.

"Connected to the original behavior” means that your consequence needs to be related to the behavior you want to see your child change or improve. 

“Task specific” means that there is something your child needs to accomplish, or practice related to the original problem. This is a concrete behavior, like washing the dishes, meeting curfew, or not swearing. 

“Time specific” means there is a specific amount of time in which he needs to demonstrate that behavior.  

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STAYING CONNECTED

I am pleased to share that I will be presenting
"Empowering the Parent: Staying Connected - 

Let's build a toolbox of skills to support your journey as you navigate the pre-teen and teen years" 

at Minds in Motion on Feb. 27

For details Click Here

POPULAR?

Helping teens deal with the "popularity thing"

"The pressure to be a part of the "popular" crowd is not a new ordeal confronting teens, but the advanced technology may make them especially pronounced for teens today than during the "corded phone" days of their parents.
With their parents' permission, some girls of the Summit Area YMCA swim team and Westover School in Middlebury, Connecticut opened up to "CBS This Morning" about the issues they're facing.

"I feel like a lot of girls feel pressured to look a certain way and act a certain one," said 18-year-old Sara.
"People judge a friendship on how long your Snapchat streak is," said 14-year-old Allie."
 

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TODDLERS & TEENS

 While this article leans toward humor - I have long believed that there is a parallel between toddlers and teens. Both are working to understand themselves and their environment separately from their parents. Both struggle with vocabulary (toddlers understanding words and teens understanding their emotions)

 To read the article

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ANTI-FRAGILE

Becoming Anti-Fragile.....

 

"How is it that some people come back from crushing defeats while others simply give in? Why does adversity make some people and teams stronger and render others ineffective?"

 

Shane Parrish, Farnam Street

 

 

 

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RESILIENCE~GRIT~EMPATHY

Starting a mini-series on resilience, grit and empathy. It is so important to help kids acquire these life skills as they are the basic building blocks for success in relationships with others as well as our selves! 

The Science of Resilience

Why some children can thrive despite adversity~ Bari Walsh

"When confronted with the fallout of childhood trauma, why do some children adapt and overcome, while others bear lifelong scars that flatten their potential? A growing body of evidence points to one common answer: Every child who winds up doing well has had at least one stable and committed rela­tionship with a supportive adult."

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FOLLOWERSHIP?

Follwership and Leadership. The discussion is intriguing. Building momentum for an idea or joining a cause - it is a crucial skill set


 "To help de-stigmatize the concept of following,  leadership should be taught as a kind of partnership between those in charge and those going along. If the group is gathered to achieve some central purpose, and all are united in reaching that goal, then leaders and followers should willingly shift roles depending on the task at hand and their relative competencies. The group revolves around the mission, in other words, rather than any one leader."  
                                                                                                                             Linda  Flanagan

Full story   Click Here

MISTAKES

 How we learn from mistakes makes a huge difference in our learning curve!









by Eduardo Briceño

"We can deepen our own and our students’ understanding of mistakes, which are not all created equal, and are not always desirable. After all, our ability to manage and learn from mistakes is not fixed. We can improve it.
Here are two quotes about mistakes that I like and use, but that can also lead to confusion if we don’t further clarify what we mean:
“A life spent making mistakes is not only most honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing” – George Bernard Shaw
“It is well to cultivate a friendly feeling towards error, to treat it as a companion inseparable from our lives, as something having a purpose which it truly has.” – Maria Montessori"

 To read on   Click Here