Happy Holidays to All!

Taking a break till 2014!  Stay tuned for upcoming workshops and many more interesting articles and helpful ideas.

Standard of Beauty? Really?

This is an eye opener, consider sharing with the young women and girls (and boys too for that matter) in your life. Truly this is human animation. We need to make others aware of the false reality that is being created in the media.

To View 1 minute video showing the 'touch ups'
Click Here

Disordered Eating vs Eating Disorder

What to watch for, when to worry

Eating disorders can be a challenge to recognize and even harder to treat. Awareness is one of the best weapons.

Do you have a teen who’s on a new health kick? Is she watching what she’s eating, cutting calories, limiting carbs? Or maybe you have a tween who has suddenly become a vegan, has started a “cleanse” or lately, peruses the Web by Googling “How do I lose weight?”

Is it time to worry? Maybe.

To read full article   Click here

Powering up your teen's brain!

The sleep problem
“Almost all teenagers in this country are sleep-deprived,” says Maida Chen, M.D., associate director of the Pediatric Sleep Center at Children’s Hospital and Regional Medical Center and a sleep researcher at the University of Washington. Most modern teens get between six and seven hours of sleep on school nights, but their bodies really require closer to nine or 10. Research finds that during the teen years, the body’s circadian rhythm (or internal body clock) is different from that of younger children and adults. It tells teens to fall asleep later at night and wake up later in the morning. “A younger child is happy to go to bed at 8 on school nights, but starting about age 14, teens just can’t fall asleep until closer to 10 or 11,” Chen says. She describes this as the “circadian delayed sleep phase” and says it’s a hormonally driven stage of life lasting into the early twenties.

To read the full article   click here

Guiding through an Emotional Time

Helping your child navigate the stresses of their life is a true gift. How to understand what you can impact, how to 'descale' an issue or situation, how to learn from that experience. Annie Fox provides a good working model
 

 If your child is upset and willing to talk about what’s going on, these steps can help him/her calm down and figure out the next best move. If your child’s upset but not yet ready to talk about it, respect that, and check back with him/her later. If your son/daughter is unwilling to talk to you for whatever reason and your gut tells you that he/she needs to talk to someone… get the help of another adult that you and your child know and trust.

 For the full article    Click here

The Present of Being Present

The impact of our presence is meaningful in so many ways.  Think of our presence as a gift, a gift of listening, kindness, humor, appreciation... Maren offers a helpful path to follow.

Do you ever worry about getting the “right” gift for the special people in your life? Let's take a few minutes and make sure we are giving the gifts that can only come from the heart.

The Present of Listening.  How do we really listen? We turn off our cell phones, the television and the computer, and we focus on the person who is talking to us. We think in terms of their interests, their dreams and their disappointments. We are non-judgmental. We ask questions. We don't offer our own anecdotes. We focus on what is being said. We just try to understand.

For full article   click here

Failing!

The importance of learning how to fail, Chris Hudson nails it!    
 

 Why parents don't let teenagers fail and what teens learn from failing.

Being an effective parent of teenagers requires discernment about when to step in and when to let events unfold.  The older your teenager gets the less you should be stepping in.  There will be times, such as if your teen is putting themselves or others in danger of physical harm, when it is appropriate to step in.  However there will be many times when it is best just to let your teen handle a situation their way, even when you know it will end in tears. Likewise saying no and sticking to it is just as, if not a more important part of being a good parent as saying yes is. - See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2012/10/letting-teenagers-fail-why-it-matters/#sthash.4syapVWi.dpuf

Being an effective parent of teenagers requires discernment about when to step in and when to let events unfold.  The older your teenager gets the less you should be stepping in.  There will be times, such as if your teen is putting themselves or others in danger of physical harm, when it is appropriate to step in.  However there will be many times when it is best just to let your teen handle a situation their way, even when you know it will end in tears. Likewise saying no and sticking to it is just as, if not a more important part of being a good parent as saying yes is.  

Read the full article click here

Being an effective parent of teenagers requires discernment about when to step in and when to let events unfold.  The older your teenager gets the less you should be stepping in.  There will be times, such as if your teen is putting themselves or others in danger of physical harm, when it is appropriate to step in.  However there will be many times when it is best just to let your teen handle a situation their way, even when you know it will end in tears. Likewise saying no and sticking to it is just as, if not a more important part of being a good parent as saying yes is. - See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2012/10/letting-teenagers-fail-why-it-matters/#sthash.4syapVWi.dpuf

Being an effective parent of teenagers requires discernment about when to step in and when to let events unfold.  The older your teenager gets the less you should be stepping in.  There will be times, such as if your teen is putting themselves or others in danger of physical harm, when it is appropriate to step in.  However there will be many times when it is best just to let your teen handle a situation their way, even when you know it will end in tears. Likewise saying no and sticking to it is just as, if not a more important part of being a good parent as saying yes is. - See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2012/10/letting-teenagers-fail-why-it-matters/#sthash.4syapVWi.dpuf

Being an effective parent of teenagers requires discernment about when to step in and when to let events unfold.  The older your teenager gets the less you should be stepping in.  There will be times, such as if your teen is putting themselves or others in danger of physical harm, when it is appropriate to step in.  However there will be many times when it is best just to let your teen handle a situation their way, even when you know it will end in tears. Likewise saying no and sticking to it is just as, if not a more important part of being a good parent as saying yes is. - See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2012/10/letting-teenagers-fail-why-it-matters/#sthash.4syapVWi.dpuf

Being an effective parent of teenagers requires discernment about when to step in and when to let events unfold.  The older your teenager gets the less you should be stepping in.  There will be times, such as if your teen is putting themselves or others in danger of physical harm, when it is appropriate to step in.  However there will be many times when it is best just to let your teen handle a situation their way, even when you know it will end in tears. Likewise saying no and sticking to it is just as, if not a more important part of being a good parent as saying yes is. - See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2012/10/letting-teenagers-fail-why-it-matters/#sthash.4syapVWi.dpuf

Spreading the word!

Karren Garrity will be presenting a workshop for Parent University on November 2 in New Milford, CT "Building Better Relationships with Your Teen" for more info click here

We are also very excited to share this great article published in the Litchfield County Times this week

click here

Don't Lecture Me

Reese Hendricks hits a home run with this post!  Context is crucial to the message- find the right story to share your message.

David’s two-year old sister, Mya, watched as he filled the frying pan with oil then turned the burner on to high.  He grabbed the bag of frozen french fries from the freezer and tossed it on the counter.  The oil heated up quickly.  Mya moved closer for a better view at what big-brother was doing.

 To read the entire post,  Click here

ENCORAGEMENT vs PRAISE

Understanding the difference is key, how and when we use them is very important.



Maren writes  "With encouragement we offer the idea that mistakes are simply learning opportunities, and that to learn and grow, we all have to make mistakes.  With encouragement we respect the child’s abilities, efforts and integrity to try to do the right thing.  An encouraging phrase or two:  I know you can figure this out.  You’re good at solving problems; I’m sure you’ll figure it out. "

Check out the full article     Click Here

Accidental Teaching

 Accidental Teaching: A new way to think about 'Teaching Moments'


Writer Cindy Terebush highlights the power of teaching by example.



When I was preparing a presentation about being an intentional teacher, my husband said, “As opposed to accidentally teaching?  Are people accidentally teaching?” and laughed.  Yes, actually.  In fact, we accidentally teach far more often than intentionally.  Everything we do and say is a lesson for children.  They watch and listen.  It is from those moments when we are being observed that children learn so much about priorities, interpersonal relationships, coping, self-control, reacting to events and even their own self-worth.  There is a reason why “the apple never falls far from the tree.”  Children figure out how to walk through this world based upon their observations.  Have you considered what your children learn from these accidental teaching moments?

Click Here to read the entire post

Teaching & Supporting the Older Teen

 Our roles as teacher and supporter do not stop, they shift and change based on environment, influences, timing and needs.  What was helpful when our kid was 13 is very different then when he is 17.  We need to continually hone our parenting tools as we navigate their voyage from childhood to adulthood.

6 Ways for Your Older Teen to Start Great Habits- It’s Never Too Late!

Is your 17, 18, or 19 year-old lacking necessary life skills?  It’s not too late.  It’s true, by the time your kid reaches late adolescence she should have all of the base skills necessary to function in the adult world.  These skills may be rough but they should be there.

At 16, a youth can legally operate a motor vehicle and hold a part-time job in most states.  At 17 a youth can serve as an active duty service member in the United States Armed Forces.  At 18, although he’s still your kid, he’s a legal adult for all intents and purposes.  In no other time in life is there such rapid growth coupled with ever-increasing responsibility than in adolescence.  A high rate of change is happening to them and around them.  No matter how old, adolescents need your guidance navigating the weight of  adulthood well into their early twenties.

To read more click 


New Habits

4 Tips for Healthy Boundaires

As we venture back into the routine of the school year, here are some helpful suggestions about creating boundaries for our teens.

Setting healthy boundaries for teenagers need not be a difficult feat for parents to achieve. Many teenagers go to the way side because parents give up on parenting once their kids have reached the age of 14 or so.

Did your parents also set healthy boundaries for you when you were a teen? I wonder if they had a tough time, or whether you were an easy teen to handle without any set boundaries?
Practical Parenting is about extending your parenting skills further and for longer.

To read more,  Click Here

Great Habits for a Happy Marriage

Recently I came across a newly published book 75 Habits for a Happy Marriage. The authors, Bush & Bush, share their insightful understandings of the challenging ebb and flow of relationships.  Keying in on the importance of connection, communication and intimacy they provide a wonderful guide to getting and keeping your relationship on track.  Whether you need a tune up, repair job or a full overhaul, 75 Habits is an inspiring resource. Building better relationships with our partners (and our kids), requires time and effort – this book will get you moving the right direction.

Check it out on Amazon 

More on Technology & Kids

Continuing on the technology theme:  There is no debating that teens are addicted to their cell phones.  Most teens use their phones 24/7 and texting is their main form of communication. 

                                                          Here is a great visual with interesting stats          Cell phone & Teens 

And a thought provoking ABC interview Interview

Technology & Kids

This is a topic that I have been fielding many questions about.  Communication and connections.... Here is an interesting article

Has technology changed the way teenagers tick?
Teenagers today still go through puberty, adolescence, and all the associated personal and relational dramas that go along with that. So their basic desires, needs, and questions haven’t changed.
But we need to acknowledge that the technology they have grown up with has completely changed the way people go about their lives.  Young people today will have a radically different experience of childhood and adolescence than their parents did.
Adults talk about social networking and mobile technology as “new technology” yet for tweens & teens it is merely the where and how of interactions.
- See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2010/10/how-generation-z-are-being-shaped-by-technology/#sthash.P57916jU.dpuf

Has technology changed the way teenagers tick?
Teenagers today still go through puberty, adolescence, and all the associated personal and relational dramas that go along with that. So their basic desires, needs, and questions haven’t changed.
But we need to acknowledge that the technology they have grown up with has completely changed the way people go about their lives.  Young people today will have a radically different experience of childhood and adolescence than their parents did.
Adults talk about social networking and mobile technology as “new technology” yet for tweens & teens it is merely the where and how of interactions.
- See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2010/10/how-generation-z-are-being-shaped-by-technology/#sthash.P57916jU.dpuf

Has technology changed the way teenagers tick?

Has technology changed the way teenagers tick?
Teenagers today still go through puberty, adolescence, and all the associated personal and relational dramas that go along with that. So their basic desires, needs, and questions haven’t changed.
But we need to acknowledge that the technology they have grown up with has completely changed the way people go about their lives.  Young people today will have a radically different experience of childhood and adolescence than their parents did.
Adults talk about social networking and mobile technology as “new technology” yet for tweens & teens it is merely the where and how of interactions.
- See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2010/10/how-generation-z-are-being-shaped-by-technology/#sthash.P57916jU.dpuf

Has technology changed the way teenagers tick?
Teenagers today still go through puberty, adolescence, and all the associated personal and relational dramas that go along with that. So their basic desires, needs, and questions haven’t changed.
But we need to acknowledge that the technology they have grown up with has completely changed the way people go about their lives.  Young people today will have a radically different experience of childhood and adolescence than their parents did.
Adults talk about social networking and mobile technology as “new technology” yet for tweens & teens it is merely the where and how of interactions.
- See more at: http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/2010/10/how-generation-z-are-being-shaped-by-technology/#sthash.P57916jU.dpuf

 Has technology changed the way teenagers tick?



Teenagers today still go through puberty, adolescence, and all the associated personal and relational dramas that go along with that. So their basic desires, needs, and questions haven’t changed.  But we need to acknowledge that the technology they have grown up with has completely changed the way people go about their lives.  Young people today will have a radically different experience of childhood and adolescence than their parents did.  Adults talk about social networking and mobile technology as “new technology” yet for tweens & teens it is merely the where and how of interactions.

Has technology changed the way teenagers tick?

Click here to read

New Program!

The Tool Box Program: Building Better RelationshipsThe Tool Box is now available as web based program to help guide you through the parenting process.  If you would like to be one of our 'testers' we would welcome your comments and thoughts!  The program will be officially launched in September - but for now, during this trial period it is free.

Click Here

The Tool Box Program: Building Better Relationships
 

10 ParentingTips

Trust, technology. curfews, peer pressure- Here are two links with great tips for parenting teens and tweens.  We all need new tools  to help navigate these transition years.


It's no secret parenting can be difficult at times, especially during the preteen and teen years. As your child begins going through changes and adapting to the world around her, it's important to maintain a level of authority while still garnering trust and understanding. It's a difficult balance -- one easily thrown off by your child's hormones, your lengthy lectures or simple misunderstandings.  To read more on

Tweens: click here

Teens: click here

Summer Returns?

Truly there are better options.... ( a bit of humor for a hot humid day!)

Mothers & Daughters

Wonderful workshop with Annie Fox; she asked great questions- read them, share them,  and discuss!

moms and daughters - Click Here

Review!

Thrilled to share a wonderful review of The Tool Box from Maren Schmidt, author and educator.

A valuable book by Karren Garrity is appropriately named, The Tool Box: Tricks of the Trade for Raising Teenagers. Even though Garrity wrote this book to help those working with teens, the relationship building advice works for three-year-olds or 103-year-olds. 

 

To read review Click Here     

Kid Talk & Self Esteem

This is a great article on how to talk with girls (although it applies to boys as well).  To help build true self esteem  with our kids we need to comment on more than the color of their hair or choice of outfit!  The building blocks for confidence are created by characteristics of substance such as, interests, skills and accomplishments; truly qualities to be proud of!   Ask questions that give others a chance to share their opinions and passions.



I went to a dinner party at a friend’s home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time.  Little Maya was all curly brown hair, doe-like dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown. I wanted to squeal, “Maya, you’re so cute! Look at you! Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing!”    Lisa Bloom


http://latinafatale.com/2011/07/21/how-to-talk-to-little-girls/